When Dreams Change

As a young child, I had many dreams and ambitions for my adult life. There were so many ideas and options, how would I ever choose? I dreamed of being a pilot, contemplated a paramedic career, fantasized about a Federal agent or spy vocation, thought about novel writing, considered joining the military, and many other occupations. One dream stood above the rest; I always imagined that regardless of what vocational path I choose, I would be a mother first and foremost. For a while, I even thought having 12 kids would be awesome. (not sure where that idea came from) :p

During that time, looking ahead at life, I was sure by the time I was 30 years old, I would be married and be raising four or five kids. My life would be secure and I would be happily serving God somewhere by my husband’s side.

Now at 30 years of age, I look back at life and wonder at all the amazing things God has allowed me to do. None of those particular childhood dreams have come to fruition, yet I have been blessed beyond measure and would not change any of it.

Not only has God blessed in ways I never dreamed of, but he has slowly, surely changed my desires and given me new ones. I am not a pilot, yet I have traveled to 40+ US states and flown to 20+ countries. I am not a paramedic, but at one time completed an EMT-basic course and used my skills to splint broken fingers and “fix” sliced toes. I have yet to write a novel, but am a blogger. I do not belong to a branch of the US Armed Forces, but I am in the Lord’s Army, fighting for the cause of Christ. And though I am not a mother, over the years, God has placed all kinds of people in my life for me to love. I want to love people, encourage them spiritually and challenge them intellectually. As a child, I assumed one day I would be a mother and would be able to pour my passion for people into my own children. However, that was not God’s plan, BUT I have such a unique opportunity to dispense love to so many.

Looking ahead, I never would have guessed at all the places God directed me to, or imagined the incredible people He would allow me to meet. Yet, here I am, not where I thought I would be, but with extreme gratitude for all my past experiences and friendships. And an excitement fills my heart at the unknown path stretching before me. I may not know what the next 30 years holds, but my God, who knows me better than I know myself, has my future in His hands.

Relaxing before the Grind

My time in the Canadian Arctic was a blessing. It was a great couple of weeks to relax and unwind after a summer of working long days, and before a crazy semester of college. It is always a huge blessing to be with my Canadian family and friends. With nothing on my agenda for days, I could read, or watch movies, or stay up late talking, and even sleep in! 

And as well, got to enjoy some more of God's great creation. 

I am so thankful that 10 years (wow, how time does fly by!), I had the incredible opportunity to spend a winter living in Inuvik. It was my first time living away from home and looking back, wow, I really was clueless about a lot of things. Still amazes me that the D's welcomed me into their family and ministry when I was so rough around the edges (immature?). But that was a refining time in my life and God taught me SO much! 

dear friend/travel buddy K

Canadian sis

One of my favorite things to do in Inuvik is cooking out on the back porch. The fire pit going, tea steeping, yummy food to enjoy and then S'mores! :D As Mr. D says- there's just something about sitting in the fresh air and letting your worries and cares drift up with the smoke of the fire. Refreshing. The colors were still spectacular that night. After that though, the weather turned ugly. 

s'mores!

 Also, got to fly over to Aklavik for a couple days. Almost didn't think we would make it out, since the weather was pretty rough. We got word they were flying, and headed out almost immediately for the airport. 
So, glad I was able to go. While there, they had a ladies meeting at church. Several women have been saved recently and they gave their testimonies. It was one of those indescribable, spiritual-connection times, when God is praised and hearts are uplifted/encouraged. 

welcome to the AK Airport

Missed having C, M and A around. No one to be crazy and silly with, or stay up late watching movies or to take me for a (cold) boat ride. Something about life moving forward, people getting married, going to college, etc. that changes things. But of course, still enjoyed my time with the Mr. & Mrs. :) 

always new little friends

and the crazy old friends

Once in a Blue Moon

I don't know how many times I've used the phrase "once in a blue moon." This July there was an actual blue moon. Though I don't know why it is called that, since the moon isn't actually a different color, it just means that there are two full moons in one month. Guess it doesn't happen very often. Well the day of the blue moon, I actually had a once in a blue moon time. :) 

A coworker of mine has his pilot's license and we've talked for a couple years now about him taking me flying. We almost went last year, but something broke on his aircraft, so we had to postpone it. Every time he would text me, I had other plans and couldn't go. But one evening in July, he texted me and I was able to go! I met him at his plane and we took off into sunny skies. It was a perfect evening for a flight. He asked if I wanted to fly over my house or go south across the river looking for moose. Of course I choose the latter. I lost count how many moose we saw. It so amazing to see these amazing animals in their own environment. After the first couple moose, I started praying that we would see a bear. Moose are cool and all, but a bear would be so much more awesome! Not long after my silent prayer, we came upon a black bear. We swooped down to have a closer look and he stared up at us and watched as we flew by. So awesome! It was a perfect ending to a hectic week. 

two bull moose watching a cow

the Super Cub we flew

Tanana River

Two Week Trip to India

So the adventure I alluded to last post.... I just got back from south India, where I spent two weeks teaching English. It was a GREAT time. On the way there, it took four flights and 36 hours traveling. Left home Friday morning early and arrived local time Sunday late morning. Yes, I was tired, but it only took a day and a half to adjust to the new time (14 1/2 hours ahead of Alaska). 

view from the roof of the guest house

I stayed on the campus of a Bible campus. My class consisted of only seven students and they worked hard for the two weeks at English Writing. I thoroughly enjoyed teaching this class and this subject. We had a great time not only working on writing, but also singing, laughing and getting to know each other. I now have a desire to visit their home places. 

MABT students

walking to class

It was an encouraging time for me. Getting to know other young people with a great desire to serve God with their lives is always encouraging. God also worked on my heart much during this time, through my students, our singing, the chapel services and His Word.

God is faithful. 

Life's Ups and Downs

The past week has been an interesting one. Most people's emotions are heightened when they are tired; well, right now, I live tired. So everything that happens seems so sharp and almost too focused. But just to give you some highlights......

Last Wednesday, I found out that one of my closest friends here in Alaska was moving. To Florida. Honestly, I like when I leave town, not when others do and I'm left here. When I say "one of my closest friends," I mean someone who prays for me and I for her. Someone I can openly share my heart with and she can do the same with me. Someone who keeps me grounded and anchored while at home. Someone who challenges, encourages, motivates me. Someone who loves me for just being me. To say that I will miss her, will be an understatement. But we've already cried, hugged and prayed together. I'm thankful for God placing her in my life and it will be a friendship for a lifetime, no matter how many miles apart we are.

While that was a little sad to digest, some good amazing things also happened this week..... Levi was born! Congrats to Tim & Cara on the birth of their first child! I've only seen pictures so far, but he sure is cute. And I'm not just saying that; I know most newborns are red, wrinkly and not too cute, but he is. Can't wait to meet him in person. Then Friday found out that a friend I had been praying for (Whitney and I had been praying together for this) had turned around and was making good decisions! Not little decisions, but great, big HUGE ones. For the good. I have wept over this friend, grieved at their past choices and what joy thrilled my soul when I heard that they had made a 180 degree turn. Thank You, God!

This is the first time in years I am not at camp. Right now, Village Week at Rock Crossing is in full swing. And I am not there. It's a little weird, yes. Kind of bittersweet. I have so many memories from my time out there. Yet, I am excited about what God is doing in my life and the direction He is leading. His plan is best and I look forward to discovering what the next step.

Can I just tell you about my Amazing. Loving. Gracious. All-powerful. Awe-some. God? Two nights recently I have been heading home after midnight (working), while I don't enjoy those late nights and lack of sleep, I do thoroughly enjoy the artwork of my God. Wow. One night, the entire sky was a canvas of blues, pinks and purples. Pink cotton candy clouds stretched out in front of me and the sinking yellow and orange sun beckoned behind me. Many don't get to appreciate God's sunsets in the summer here because of it the time, but Oh My. It is worth staying up for. I think He did is just for me. To tell me how much He loved me. How much He cares about one little individual in the middle of Alaska.

God is God alone. In the good times and the bad, He's still on the throne.

pictures don't do it justice

Just say NO! || Sleep? what's that??

Sometimes I think my greatest weakness is the inability to say "no" (more often than not). There's just so much I want to do and accomplish and when opportunities are presented, I jump at them. Before I know it, my days are maxed and I'm trying to figure out when I'll sleep. Sleep is important.... or so they tell me. 

And of course, everything seems to go crazy all at the same time. My schedule was a comfortably full, then all of a sudden it was so jampacked full that I missed meals and had to have people bring me food! (thanks, Tman) And there's no let up until July, actually I think it might even be fuller the last two weeks of June than it is now.  

There's a couple things that keep me sane during crazy times like these.... 
God's grace and strength. What a powerful, profound Truth to know He is my Saviour, my Lord and my friend. He is with me every step of the way. 

Good friends who keep me spiritually grounded. There are two that I talk to on a weekly basis; one by phone and one face to face. We spend time sharing what God has taught us recently, what we are going through and pray together. Those prayer times are like an oasis in the midst of a hectic life. I treasure them greatly! 

A few more things that  randomly bless my days by making me laugh, feel loved or just add a little excitement.....

Receiving mail! I love snail mail, some days I wish that's all we had again (don't usually wish very long, since I also enjoy email:) Last week arrived home late one night and had a package from my friend - with a lovely, colorful scarf, shirt and a card with kind words. Just an extra pick-me-up blessing. 

thanks to Jaime for this scarf!

Hanging with Bobby at church. Crazy kid with tons of energy! So funny how all the little kids at church love my dad. Sometimes I help him out, cause he always had a couple or more kids hanging around him. Bobby is quite the character! He can't say my name, so was teaching him to call me, "pretty girl." heehee

selfie with Bobby!

#canceledflight - so glad this wasn't our airline

Blessings

I love to hear a song that ministers and speaks to my heart. There have been many songs over the years that have encouraged and strengthen me. One of my current favorite songs is "Blessings" by Laura Story. 

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise.

It is true that this world is not my home. At times it is easy to forget that and to allow things of this world to discourage and get me down. But if my eyes are fixed on Jesus and my heart reminded that we are strangers in a strange land, I can have the strength to smile and get through another day. 

The desire of my heart can not be satisfied by the things and emotions of this life. True, abundant life can only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the Lord of the Universe. What an amazing thing that the Creator and Sustainer of the universe loves me!! 

Blessings

If I could just sum up my stay in Kstan in a few words, they would be....

kids, scooter, CRASH, concrete walls, pain, kids, sore muscles, cooking, bazaar, volleyball, kids, eating, basketball, services, egg/tomato sandwiches, kids, walking, pictures, coffee, new friends, more pain, and blessings. 

Anara, Daniel, Ira

At every service I attended in Kstan, there was time for sharing blessings. I realized that I do not thank the Lord enough for the blessings He continually showers into my life. Numerous little things, big things, things I take for granted, things I love dearly, so many things. It was a great refreshment to me to share a few of God's blessings with others and to hear what they were thankful for. And even when I didn't share audibly, it encouraged me to think of other things on my own to praise God for.  

having fun - Lidia, Vernica, me, Nastia

The biggest blessing God has given me this past month has been His abundant grace. During my stay in Kstan, I was not only dealing with much physical pain from my accident, but also emotional and mental pain. I can honestly say it was probably the lowest time of my life thus far. I was dealing, or trying to deal with some news that I had a hard time wrapping my mind around. News that was a blow to me. There I was in a place I had never been before, with people I had never met before, thousands of miles from my family and friends, trying to get through. But do you know, that God's grace reaches to the farthest corner of the earth!? I can testify, it does!! 

I want to praise and thank my Lord for His grace, His strength and His hope in trials. I want to thank Him for putting me with people that were able to help me spiritually during a dark time, for friends many miles away that wrote to tell me they were praying for me, for wise Biblical counsel, prayer and those who just listened. 

Other blessings from the last month would definitely have to include the new friends I've made. The more I travel, the more I long for heaven! Almost every where I've been I leave a part of my heart, but one day I'll be able to gather with my many friends and loved ones from all over the world around God's throne and we'll all praise Him. And the awesome thing is then we will all be able to completely understand each other!! The amazing thing now is that in many places I have brothers and sisters in Christ and though we may not be able to talk about everything because of our language barrier, we still can have a real friendship! 

my tall, very awesome friends

Yo My Yo

Another blessing to me is the ability to play volleyball and basketball. May seem like a small thing to some, but I love sports and during my first week when I couldn't play because of the pain, I ached to play. Glad I healed enough to play with the kids. Have a few more wounds that need healing. (got two more today) Wish you could have seen my incredible flip/somersault in the air while playing basketball. :) It was impressive, if I do say so myself. Some kid ran in front of me and I started falling, somehow somersaulted and landed without hitting my head, neck or back. I was glad, since falling on concrete isn't the most comfortable. Only have a small bruise on my elbow from that one. 

Rita likes this one cause my feet aren't touching the ground. 

One last thing I want to share - I want to thank God for pain. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm grateful for pain. Physically - because it reminds me there are limitations and helps me to work on my self-control. 

And emotionally/mentally/spiritually - because that's when God can really work in my life. When His strength is infused because I have none left. Pain can make one stronger if they accept it and work through it. 

One question that was put to me that helped me....

"Are you willing to trust God with this, even if He never explains the reason(s) why?" 

Trusting God isn't always easy.

But it is ALWAYS worth it.

setting sun in Urumqi

Shopping, Baking and Blessings!

Earlier this week I went to the дэлгүүр (store) by myself! I am housesitting for a friend and there wasn't much in way of food at the house. So, off to the store I went. I used Mongolian mostly and the lady shopkeeper understood me! They didn't have everything I wanted but I was able to get a few things so I could have something to eat at least. I was just pleased with myself that I went alone and used my Mongolian. :) 

the store I went to - right across the road from my cabin

All this for $10USD!! pretty good I'd say. 

Then, when I got home I make myself some biscuits. (of course always reminded of Nicole!) And boy, did they taste good! Most anything would taste good since all I had eaten was one slice of bread in about 30 hours. Was reminded again how thankful I am for food! Especially the variety of American food. Here the norm is meat (sheep, yak or cow), potatoes, cabbage, carrots, onions and flour. Now I like all those things but if that's all you have to work with..... day after day. 

my biscuits. tribute to Nicole :)

Today was a blessing. 

We had a ladies prayer meeting at Сайхнаа's house. I spoke on how praying together can bring us all together. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Acts 2, where it says that the first church was gathered in one place in one accord. It fascinates me that so many different diverse people can be gathered at one location and been of the same mindset. They had Jesus in common and because of it, they put everything else aside. Prayer is an important tool to our Christian life and to the church. When we pray together, we come together and are united. I spoke for maybe 20 minutes, then we shared requests for another 20-30 minutes. We finished up by praying.... for an hour! 

What a sweet time it was. At one point while one of the ladies was praying, I thought of Hebrews 4:16. 

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to to help in time of need."

There we were six ladies (five Mongols and one American) praying in our native tongue, beseeching the throne of grace. Pleading for healing, for lost family and friends, for God to move in our community. 

I think I caught a glimpse of heaven today. 

The bond we as believers have is powerful. Though I can't sit and talk more than small talk to most of those ladies, we have a bond of sisterhood. We love each other because we all love the Lord. 

Also today something happened that I never thought would happen! 

Four years ago when I was here working, I lost my high school class ring. I had no idea how or where I lost it. When I realized it was gone, I was here in Hatgal, but thought it might have been lost in UB. I looked and looked and asked numerous people if they had seen it. After returning home, I thought about it every now and then and kept praying that someone would find it. Eventually I gave up and forgot about it. 

Well, today Сайхнаа brought out my ring and asked "is this yours?"

I was shocked to see it! She said her husband found it 2 years ago! But they had no idea who's it was and everyone they asked didn't recognize it. I had given it up as lost forever and wasn't really concerned about it. But isn't God good to bring it back to me!? 

I just want to say again - My God is an Awesome God. Not only did He create this entire world. He loves me.... Unconditionally! And His Son died for my sin debt, so I could be reunited with Him. 

I'm so glad I know Him. 

Do you?