He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed,
trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7
A few years ago, while reading through my Bible, this verse
jumped out at me. Since that time, I have clung to it many times. How often are
we worried or anxious about receiving bad news? When the phone rings and your
heart starts pounding, because you are fearful of who will be on the other end,
calling to share news you’ve been dreading.
All through my teen years, I looked forward to one day
traveling to visit missionaries. Several times I had planned a trip, only to
have it fall apart. It was my one big dream and I tried opening so many doors
on my own, but it was not meant to be. Finally, I gave it to the Lord. I told
Him that I was ready for whenever He was ready to send me. I stopped trying to
open closed doors and rested in His leading and timing. Several months later,
an opportunity dropped into my lap from out of the blue. My good friend, Bro. D
asked me to come North to live with his family and help at their small
Christian school. That particular location had never crossed my radar before,
but it was definitely of God. With a very short amount of time I was in Inuvik,
NWT.
My brother had gotten married Friday evening and Monday
morning I was on my way to Inuvik. We arrived Tuesday evening and by the next
day, I was working at the school. Things were going well and I was getting
adjusted to being away from family and “on my own.” Sunday evening, we were
just getting home from church, when the phone rang. I had this weird feeling
that the call was for me. But I instantly dismissed it, because I didn’t really
know anyone yet in town, so no one local would be calling me and everyone back
home would be at church. Yet, a few seconds later, I was told the call was for
me. It was a close family friend calling to inform me my mother had been in a
serious car accident the previous night. She had already had a couple surgeries
and was currently in ICU.
It was such a weird feeling… I was so far away, that it was
hard to believe it was real. There really was no emotion on my part at first, because I
was only hearing of it and not seeing any physical evidence. It took a couple
days for it to sink in. My dad called a couple days later and we talked about
the entire situation. My mom would be in the hospital for a while and even
after she got out, it would be a long recovery. My older brother had just
gotten married, I as the oldest girl was away from home for the first time and
my next brother was working fulltime. That left my middle sister, who was only
14 at the time to take care of the youngest two siblings. My dad still had to
work and he also spent a lot of time at the hospital. I asked him if he thought
I should come home to take care of the family. But he said no. We both knew God
had given me this opportunity and he felt I should stay where God had led. God
always gives grace, does He not?
A few weeks later, I received another phone call. This one
came after I was already in my bedroom for the night, but I got up to take the
call. A friend from home called to let me know a guy I had grown up with had
been killed in a motorcycle accident. His sister and I had been good friends
for a few years and while he and I never were that close, it was still a shock.
How does one handle getting news like that? Yet, God is good and He always
provides grace and peace when we need it most.
Fast forward to a year later. I now found myself in Outer
Mongolia, completely cut off from the world around me. The village we lived in
had no electricity, no running water, no radio, no cell phones. We had a
landline, but it didn’t always work. One time my mom tried calling for 2 weeks
before she could get through. During my first couple months there, every time
the phone would ring and someone would say the call was for me, fear was my
first response. My heart would pound, until I answered and realized my family had
simply called to see how I was doing, not to tell me bad news. It’s a horrible
way to live, always dreading the next phone call. Then I read Psalm 112:7- “He
shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord.”
The ‘he’ in the verse speaks of “the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth
greatly in his commandments,” found in verse one of the chapter. I realized
that I was not trusting God the way that I should have been.
Instead of resting in Him, I was constantly worried about
what evil tidings I would hear next. I was dreading the future and the pain and
hurt I might face, instead of dwelling in the present moment and being at
peace. I knew then that God wanted me to trust Him completely. Did that mean I
would never receive bad news again? No. But I didn’t need to worry about
something that hadn’t happened yet. And I could be confident that when I did
receive bad news again, God would still be by my side, giving me the grace,
strength and peace to deal with each situation. I clung to that verse, holding
it as a promise from God. I could fix my heart and mind on His constant love,
instead of dreading the future.
That year in Mongolia, I never did receive a phone call with
difficult news. Instead, God taught me many other things. But He had given me
Psalm 112:7 to hold on to and prepare me for the future. Years later, I was
once again in Mongolia, when I would receive heart wrenching news. No, it
wasn’t easy to deal with, but I had chosen not to fear the future, but trust
that God would provide the grace and strength I needed when those times came.
And once again, He proved Himself faithful in my life.
