Love - Unconditionally

"love like you've never been hurt"

Just walking through Fred's on my lunch break, when the above saying caught my eye. I was looking for some new wall art for my bedroom and there it was, a pretty plague with that saying scrolled across it.

Wasn't something to purchase, but the words sure stuck with me.

Moments throughout my life, I've been tempted to stop showing love to certain individuals. A person who perhaps hurt me, betrayed me or just showed me a little bit of cold shoulder. It is my tendency to withdraw after such experiences. Why should I be a friend to them? Why should I open my heart to them? When all I get in return is rejection or indifference?

When you love someone, you open yourself up to hurt. An offending remark from a stranger is easy to brush off, but when it comes from a dear friend, it stings. Loving someone makes you the lover, vulnerable.

Honestly, I don't like being vulnerable.

My natural response is so say "no thanks;" to love someone without opening my heart to them.

Then my spirit reminds me, "Christ loved you by opening Himself up to you, when you still rejected Him." God loved me before I loved Him. He made Himself vulnerable to hurt and shame on my behalf!

While I'd rather just love someone simply without being deeply involved, Christ wants me to love as He loved. Yes, I may get hurt in the process - but then I can share in the "fellowship of His sufferings." (Philippians 3) It's still not an easy choice, but it is the right choice.

Choose to Love.

Unconditionally.

choosing love....

Good Morning Denver!

Welcome to Denver! 

I had the chance to fly down to Denver for a few days, so I jumped at it! I really don't how to explain my fascination with traveling, airports, etc. I sit in an airport and I just LOVE it. Even with all the chaos, craziness, lost luggage, delayed flights, etc, I still can't seem to get enough of it. 

I arrived in Denver just in time to catch the sunrise Thursday morning. I have to say Colorado is similar to Alaska in the fact that they have beautiful skies - huge clouds set against high mountains, with lots of gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. I love clouds, so I enjoyed seeing the Colorado skies! 

Sun rises over Denver

One thing I was really looking forward to in Denver was the chance to eat more ethnic food! Here in Fairbanks, we have lots of Thai, Chinese and Korean food places.... but we lack some of the best! I like Mediterranean food and some Indian foods and sadly, we don't have much in that department. Thursday for lunch I ate at the Yak and Yeti Restaurant! It was a buffet, so I was able to choose a good variety of Indian, Tibetan and Nepali foods. Yum! And on Friday, I had Shwarma. mmm mmm

@ Yak & Yeti 

like my name correction? :) 

I stopped off in Colorado Springs for almost a whole day. Didn't think I'd get to see Lance this time around; he's a senior this year at the Airforce Academy and is very busy. But he texted me that morning and we were able to meet up for a couple hours that afternoon. I got my "real" tour of the campus! Last time I was there, it was in the evening and everything was closed for the day. The Chapel is impressive architecturally! 

Airforce Academy Chapel

The second half of my stay in Colorado I went north of Denver to see some dear friends! I attended Judah and Heather's wedding two years ago and hadn't seen them since. I was able to spend some great time with them, along with meeting their new little man, Jude! 

I taught Judah when he was a freshman in high school; I lived with his family in Mongolia for a winter... that was a great year! :) It was pretty funny when he introduced me to some of his friends and he told them I was his teacher when he was fourteen. They all kinda looked at me, like "how is that possible?" Judah and I look about the same age, so it takes some people by surprise. :) 

baby Jude

A first for me this past weekend was running (okay, walking) a 5k. I've always wanted to run one, but I'm not there yet... But I did walk it with Heather and Jude. It was great to fellowship with Heather while getting some exercise. It was killer hot that morning, the sun was intense! 

after the 5k

It was a good, restful weekend. I am thankful I got a short break.... especially since I'm working nights the next few weeks (along with my normal work). 

Betrayal, Pain, GRACE

Gut-wrenching heart-ache - that's how I would describe deep betrayal. 

Have you ever thought about how Christ felt when Judas betrayed Him? 

Sure, He was God and He knew it was coming and even that it was needed for Him for be crucified. But that doesn't negate the fact that He was betrayed. Betrayed by one of those closest to Him. A person He had worked with, laughed with, traveled and lived with. A man He had taught and mentored. 

And then. 

Judas turned on Jesus and betrayed Him.

Stabbed Him in the back. 

There's no way you can tell me that Christ was not hurt. 

Perhaps the knowledge of Judas' betrayal added to the enormous weight He carried in the Garden when Christ prayed. The betrayal by a close friend is not an easy boulder to scale and then just continue on down the path of life unaffected. 

Sometimes the hurt and pain remain in your heart for many months afterward. It will never be completely erased from your memory. 

The boulder of betrayal may be blocking your path. There is no way around it. It cannot be brushed aside and not dealt with. If you are to press forward in your spiritual walk, it must be ascended. You can choose to let it defeat you so that you no longer have the energy to travel the upward journey of faith. But you are the one who loses, if that is your choice. 

I understand to a small extent the anger, frustration and pain that accompanies a friend's betrayal. Not the kind of pain that stems from a friend who perhaps no longer speaks to you or speaks evil of you behind your back. Not an elementary school betrayal.

But the heartache caused by a close confident and mentor who has spurned the Truth of God's Word, the Truth they have proclaimed for many years. The pain generated when the choices this friend made severely injures numerous loved ones around them.

Hebrews 4: 15 - "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin."

Christ is our High Priest. He understands our weaknesses, our emotions, our trials. He knows how betrayal feels! He can comfort and give grace, because He has been through it already. Only He can give sustaining grace and peace in a dark time of life. What a comfort it is to rest in the knowledge that my Lord loves me, He understands the anguish of my soul and He will carry me over the hurdle of betrayal.

Betrayal is only one of many dark trials that a person can encounter in life. But my God is the Sustainer and Peace-Giver for each one of our trials - whether it be the death of loved one, the betrayal of a dear friend, the kidnapping of a child, sickness, financial loss. Each of our circumstances may be different, but...

God is the Constant.

You can look to Him and He will never let you down. Men will fail us. I'm thankful for the good, godly friends God has allowed me to meet, but none will ever replace the Lord and what He can do for me.

His Strength is made strong in my weakness, His Grace sustains me when I don't have the will to go on, His Peace comforts my heart when I am burdened, His Word refreshes my soul when I am down, His Love embraces me when I feel alone.

My heart still aches as I write this, my stomach still churns and tears threaten to flow, but my trust is in the God of Heaven. By allowing Him free access to my life, yes, I will endure trials. But those trials will make me stronger, more confident in my Saviour - in the end, I consider it a blessing.

I am today closer to my Father because of this trial.

and I am willing to accept this trial and others in the future if my God will be glorified. 

BLUEBERRIES

It's that time of year and this is a Good year! We've had some amazing weather this summer, so our berry harvest is excellent! I've heard many people say that this is the best year they have ever seen for blueberries. I know a couple families who have 5 to 10 gallons of berries! We don't have near that amount, but our freezer is quickly filling up... with berries and salmon!! 

Salmon is a staple here in Alaska. I thought it was strange that some of my friends in the States had never had salmon or just had it once at a restaurant or paid an exorbitant price for it. I remember one year when were kids, we had salmon so much, that we begged my mom not to cook it any more for us. 

And I just found out we are going to get a lot our salmon smoked! The awesome, not to salty/smoky way! mmm, going to be a good winter. Oh and once I get my moose this year, ;) our freezer will be packed. 

Loving Harvest Time in Alaska!

BIG blueberries (for Alaska)

Angel Rocks and Mail

Last Friday, my sister and I went hiking. Back to Angel Rocks - last couple times I was there, only went halfway up. This time I was determined to go to the top. One couple was leaving when we arrived and other than that, there was no one else up there. So nice to be the "only ones in the world." It was still hot and with hiking, we became even more hot. But it was fun and I enjoyed the time with my sister. 

at the top!

overlooking the valley

capturing memories

and switch :) 

I was hoping for a nice sunset. Smoke had rolled in from somewhere, so the horizon was pretty foggy, but it was still nice. I had brought my Kindle to read a little up there. Sitting on top of the world, just relaxing, reading and enjoying God's creation. 

And on Saturday - I GOT MAIL!!! 

I had sent in for a new passport, because my old was expires next year and it only has one blank page left. Instead of paying for new pages to be added, figured I'd just get a new one. AND cool thing is, I requested and received a 52 page Passport! (normal is 24 pages) My goal, is to use up all pages in the next ten years. :) Super excited! Can't wait to use it for the first time..... coming up soon!!! 

Have Passport. Will Travel.